It’s not ScreenPrinting, It’s SCREAMPrinting

My dad is a master screen printer. He has screened thousands upon thousands of paper/plastic/metal items over the years. We have screen printed flags and even blankets together. But he doesn’t screen print clothing items.

But we did this week. Last spring I was able to purchase a four color screen printing system for my classroom with an education grant. It is really cool and we used it with my students for one color jobs and have had great success.  We are working our way up to the more advanced projects!

So for our 14th annual Maxwell Lakehouse trip, I asked Dad if he wanted to screenprint shirts for all 22 of us. Kylie and Dad came up with the design, I fine-tuned it and printed it, and we ordered tshirts. We made the screens and are increasing our skills with the  emulsion process.

Finally we were ready to print. Kylie and Lexi had to come help. Given that I grew up screenprinting with Dad, no way were they not going to help us! Just getting the shirts ready to print was an undertaking given that our sizes start with a 6 month old and go up to an adult xl.

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I took a time lapse video of our work. If you watch carefully you can see Kylie and Lexi screenprint a little themselves at the end! Lexi was the master at loading the shirts exactly right and Kylie pulled the shirts and set them on the drying rack.

We were doing fine.. actually we did great until about shirt number 17. At that point the fact that we were not putting the shirts under the flash dryer between colors became an issue. I knew it would be.. but I had hoped that we would make it to the end first. But no. Dad was so disappointed. I wasn’t. I guess twenty years of teaching public school has me thinking that getting 16 of the 22 done without too much of a mess is a win. Dad said we weren’t screenprinting, we were SCREAMPRINTING!

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After we took stock of the shirts, we decided to run white on top of the blue. I LOVE the way it turned out! There are a couple of shirts that are not great, but overall, I consider this a successful project.

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And next time, we will stop and figure out that blasted flash dryer so that we can print all the colors without ending up with “psychedelic” shirts!

I can’t wait to get our Maxwell Lakehouse family picture taken in a week or so.

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Yearning

I have so many thoughts swirling in my head.
So many things I want to say.IMG_2104

 

But I can’t… cause I’m struggling to process it really myself.

I’m really not trying to be one of those vague woe is me social media posts people.. You know.. post

But guys, let me just say…

Specialist #25 had no answers for Maddie’s bilateral foot drop. We stumped him. And he was supposed to BE THE ONE. She has no nerve damage and no neurological reason for her feet to have just stopped working. The doctor was nice and concerned, but he had no answers.

Guys, I was scared to death over this appointment. We were assured that we would get some answers today. But Maddie knew. She didn’t have her hopes up.
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And why should she?

Her entire life has been No Answer. No Reason. No Explanation.

So we have been referred to Specialist #26 and hospital #7.

And yes, of course we are thankful that more of the incredibly scary diagnoses have been ruled out. But could we, maybe, someday get an answer?

The yearning doesn’t go away.

The ache is ever present.

The hurt tangible.

My path is full of rocks

For the last few years I’ve been working hard on my professional goals and trying to advance my career in public education. I’ve done everything “by the book.” I’ve done the course work. I’ve passed the tests. I’ve done absolutely everything that I can do, even so far as having my research published in an educational administrative journal. And I’ve hit the wall over and over again.

Each time I’ve hit the wall, I’ve reevaluated. I’ve asked myself hard questions and I’ve learned important lessons.

But this weekend, after soul-searching after yet another difficult wall, I realized that I’m going after my goals in a traditional approach.. the accepted approach… the textbook approach.

And you know what?

The textbook approach has NEVER worked for me.

My dad has often laughingly said that I created my own degree plans in college and created my own jobs. And you know what? I have. Why? Because I had to in order to survive.

But during the last few years, with a good job and some, what I thought were attainable goals, I forgot that I don’t fit the box that others want. I gave absolutely everything I had to doing what was expected, traditional and allowed.

And I found that not only does that not work for me, I didn’t get the promotions that I worked so hard for. And I really want to give up.

But I’m not.

I didn’t learn to finally read fluently in fourth grade for nothing!

Traditional approaches to education didn’t work for me as a child. My path to reading and basic math was HARD and I have the elementary report cards to prove it.  The four C’s I got in second grade on the second marking period were disappointing. Staying in at recess in third grade so that I could figure out math problems wasn’t fun.  Having to read into a tape recorder at night and play it back and listen to myself read the words wasn’t easy. But I did it. And I learned to read and I passed my math classes.

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No, I’m not showing you the grades on the inside!

Everyday I could have given up. But I didn’t.  My brand of gifted (remembering pretty much every room I’ve ever been in, including the orientation of the bed compared the window for every room I’ve slept in for the last 40 years..) doesn’t make the standard list of gifted and talent attributes.

What I learned is that I have to fight for myself and be willing to take the path full of rocks. The path full of rocks is often lonely, its tough and you are destined to get scrapped up along the way. But it is worth it, because the view from the peak is incredible.

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So that’s what I am going to do.

I’m setting out on my own path. It’s not a path of manicured grass with a pretty pond. It’s a path of rocks and I’m going to conquer it.

Watch out world.

Graduation

Graduation has come and gone and with it, Maddie completed her high school journey. There were many times over the last twelve years that I wondered if we would make it to this point.. but we did.

Watching Maddie graduate was wonderful, yet like every other accomplishment in her life, it was not without a struggle. Maddie has been wearing two walking boots for about a month now and these boots, while worn for protection and the ability to walk “normally,” are not easy to navigate ramps and uneven ground in.

But Maddie does just that.

I am so proud of her. It’s hard to not get weepy when I consider her struggles and her accomplishments. Many would use the daily pains and hurts as excuses to not leave the house, but Maddie perseveres and refuses to give up.

Maddie’s educational journey is really just beginning. She wants to be a music therapist, so that means two degrees, an internship, and a board certification. I know that she is going to do incredible things and be a difference maker for children who face physical and/or cognitive struggles.

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So for those of us out there who get frustrated when life doesn’t meet our expectations, I ask you to remember those like Maddie who face daily struggles of chronic pain, chronic illness, rare diseases and complex and often undiagnosed problems.

Since Maddie can get up each day with a smile, a song in her heart and the desire to reach her goals, surely we can join her in that journey!

The Lessons from A Seam Ripper

The Seam Ripper is a necessary and useful item if you sew. The seam ripper has a sharp point that allows you to get under a stitch or a knot of threads and break the seam and pull out a seam that you realize to late that was wrong.

My brand of sewing seems to be twice as much seam ripping as actual sewing.. as for every line of stitching that is kept I feel like I take out 2!

This weekend as I was taking out a truck load of seams from a project that is teaching me lots of life lessons, I thought about the gift and the lessons of the seam ripper.

So here are a few of my deep thoughts from my time with the seam ripper.

  1. Just because something looks good from the front, doesn’t mean it looks good on the back.

  2. Just because something appears to have been done correctly, doesn’t mean that it was.

  3. It may seem like a tiny mistake when you make it, but if you take the time to fix it, you realize that it was a big one that was on track to derail the entire project.

  4. If you stop and think about what you are doing before you do it, you will save time as having to go back, take apart what you have already done and start again the right way takes twice as long.

  5. Learn how to use the tool so that you don’t make a mess of the project.

And there you have it… a few life lessons that we all need to be reminded of.. even if you don’t have a monster project to finish that you made an utter mess of so you have ignored it for two months and now you have to take miles of seams out of the quilt in order to fix it and finish it!

Educators Need To Do Hard Things

As an educator, it is important to remind myself that learning new things and mastering new skills isn’t always easy. I think educators and those in the business of education often found learning to be easy.. and so we forget that for some, learning is HARD.

So for the third time, I’ve selected the month of May to be my month of hard things… in the form of my Handstand Challenge.

Why? Because handstands are HARD. Because handstands force you out of your comfort zone and require not only that you trust your hands and shoulders to hold you up, but require you to balance and hold your core tight at the same time. In essence, handstands require physical effort and mental strength.

I also really enjoy watching my progress over the month. It fits my grit mindset of 20 times to learn it, 200 to master it. So over the course of a month, I’ve captured my learning process over 20 times (31 to be exact) and I’ve done more than 200 handstands because with every up there are 5 to 10 failures. By the end of the month, I haven’t mastered handstands, but I’ve made a lot of progress!

And interestingly, each year I start from a stronger place. Just like the educational foundation that we hope students have as they are given new content; my handstands are significantly better than last years handstands when you look at the data (date and photo).  Even better, when you go back three years, the progress is quite impressive. In 2015, my day 1 handstand was up against the wall outside of my house. I remember clearly being scared that I would fall, that I would slip, that I would break something!

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But even braced against the wall, I was so proud of the fact that I DID IT!

Moving to 2018, my day 1 handstand this year was in the middle of my living room with no wall to brace me, no helper to stabilize me and no pillow to catch me should I fall. The difference this time was that while I knew the handstand would be ugly, I knew I could do it. In fact, my Day 1-8 handstands are all pretty awesome in my opinion.. even though they only last a second or two!

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Isn’t that what we want for our students? Yes, some learning and some processes are ugly, but students NEED to know that they can do hard things! Progress needs to be celebrated and efforts acknowledged.

When was the last time a student was asked to CHOOSE something outside of their comfort zone that would be hard and then given the tools to accomplish it? And I’m not talking about passing the STAAR (state mandated test) test.. but a student-driven academic goal.

So as I look out at my classroom and watch 150 students pass through my door each day, I tell them about my handstand challenge. I invite them to follow my progress on instagram.. not so that they can make fun of me.. some will no matter what… but so that they can see adults in their lives doing hard things.. things that aren’t in their comfort zone.. things that don’t come easy. Because maybe, just maybe, some of these students will remember my sad attempts at handstands when they are in the midst of their own handstand struggles in life and keep going.

Yesterday you were a child, Today an adult..

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Photo by Derek Dodson

Maddie turned 18 this week. Of course I knew this was coming.. but I still wasn’t ready. We have been working on college scholarships and planning graduation events, but somewhere along the way I forgot that with graduation and college, my “little” girl was going to become an adult.

Unlike many parents, I’m not worried about Maddie being a responsible adult. Maddie has been responsible pretty much her entire life. And it’s not that I can’t let go.. I will and am..

But here is the deal.

For 18 years I have spent pretty much every breath that I have in me protecting Maddie’s health. I have spent thousands of hours in doctor’s offices, in waiting rooms and researching diseases and cures when the specialists didn’t even know what to do or how to treat her.

And then, starting at 12:01am on Maddie’s birthday, I started getting the emails.

“You have been unlinked to Maddie’s account”

“This email has been removed from the account”

“You have been removed from this account”

over

and

over.

I have been removed and unlinked from Maddie’s life.

There aren’t even words to describe how that feels. Maddie didn’t choose to unlink or remove me. An automated system that just the day before wouldn’t allow Maddie to make a single decision for herself now requires her to make all of the decisions and excludes me from even seeing her account!

It hurt.

But more than that, it scared me.

I wasn’t ready and I hadn’t downloaded all of Maddie’s files. I realize now that I should have been more proactive, but dang.. just living in the trenches is hard enough. Someone should have warned me! That automated system should have sent me an email 30 days prior saying that unless Maddie authorized it, I would be removed from her accounts.

For those of you out there that have never had the struggles that come with having a child with 13 different diagnosis codes and almost a dozen different specialists, I’m sure you think I’m overreacting. Just hang with me a moment…

This week along with Maddie’s birthday, she has had some ongoing and new health issues. She saw her primary doctor who did blood work and is working to get in to see two of her specialists next week. Both specialists will need to see the results of the blood work. None of these three doctors work together or are part of the same network. My job for the last 18 years is to be the manager and provide all of the paperwork and logistics for each of the various doctors. Now it’s Maddie’s responsibility. A responsibility that Maddie will take the lead on, but truly wasn’t ready to take on. As she said, when the doctor’s office calls with results from the blood work, she isn’t even going to know what they are talking about! And Maddie is an educated patient!

I can’t help but be a little terrified.

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Standing Still While the Water Rushes By

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Have you ever tried standing still in the middle of a river while the water runs by? Or what about just standing still on the shore of a lake/ocean? It isn’t necessarily easy.  Sometimes the riverbed is slick. Sometimes the shore line is rocky and rough. Sometimes its squishy and hard to keep your balance. It takes work to stand still in an unknown environment.  It takes focus and is a whole body effort.

Lately life has felt a lot like I’m standing at the edge of a riverbed and trying to keep my balance.  I am reminded by a trip we took last fall over to a local state park. I remember so clearly the difficulty Kylie and Lexi had just standing on the rocks while a couple of inches of water flowed over their feet and past them while they tried to navigate the slick rock.IMG_8006

The picture is sweet, but what it doesn’t capture is the slip and fall into just enough water and sludge to get yucky that immediately followed! I was glad that I had kept my shoes on and stayed on dry ground.

So why am I pondering and painting about standing on the edge of the river bank and waiting for the water to recede? Because that is the promise I am taking and firmly planting myself on in order to figure out how to “do” life right now.  You see, years ago I had the privilege of hearing my husband Doug preach over Joshua 3 which is about the crossing of the Jordan river with the Ark of the Covenant, and his thoughts and my processing over the last few years give me hope and peace in the midst of chaos.

Read Joshua 3:14-17

So when the people set out from their tents to cross the Jordan with the priests carrying the ark of the covenant before the people, and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan. Joshua 3: 14-17 NASB

I know. Its wordy and full of commas, but it speaks to me.

Can’t you see it? Can’t you feel it?

I’m such a visual person that I can’t help but recreate the scene in my head. The Jordan river is at flood stage. The waters are rushing and the people know that they have to cross the river. Man, my pulse starts picking up just thinking about it. I picture myself as one of the priests, holding one of the poles to the ark on my shoulder.  It works well.. responsibility, peer pressure, expectations..

(I found the painting below labeled for reuse.. feel free to picture yourself as one of the other 3!)

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I digress.

So, anyway. We arrive at the edge of the Jordan. We know that God has foretold that once we step into the water, the river will recede with the water dividing and piling up above us and below us, on the sea side being cut off and not able to flow back in. But we have to take that step. Can’t you imagine it? The river is at flood stage! The water is flowing and not only do you have to take a step into the river, but you are carrying a large and heavy burden.

But isn’t that what life is like?

While I don’t really remember the particulars from Doug’s sermon years ago, and I’ll admit that my takeaway from it might be incredibly flawed. The one thing that really stood out to me that I have pondered and considered is the idea of stepping into the water and standing still while the water recedes. I have thought about it over and over. Maybe my interpretation is wrong, but I needed the image of having to step in and hold my ground while the chaos of the running water around me receded.

Life isn’t easy and anyone that says it is, is lying and somedays I need to be reminded that while I don’t have to trudge THROUGH the water, I do have to take that first step INTO the water.

Cause really, in my mind, I see the priests holding the Ark of the Covenant just a step into the water holding firm and steady while the water rushes between their legs and runs towards the Dead Sea. Can’t you just imagine the panic that was rising in those priests before the water started visibly receding. But they stood there and the water receded and Joshua 3:17 says that all of Israel crossed on dry land.

And so for me, as I stand in the water.. maybe just an inch deep, or maybe it is up to my ankles.. or even my knees.. I am reminded to stand and let the chaos around me recede instead of trying to push through and make  a path. That isn’t my natural inclination. I’m all about taking up my machete and forging my own path.

But I don’t have to.

Sometimes being a leader is forging the path and sometimes being a leader is taking the first step and then holding still so that others can cross on dry ground.

And that is what my watercolor painting is of at the top of this post. I’ve learned how to make a path. Now I’m learning to stand and wait.

 

What I learned from watching my daughter in Colorguard

About five years ago if you asked me what colorguard was I would have asked if you meant the “flag girls” on the football field at half time with the marching band. I would have meant no disrespect, but I didn’t have a real frame of reference for colorguard beyond that they were the pretty part of the half time band performance.

Today however, if you ask me about Colorguard, I can talk about it for a looong time! Cause you see, I am a veteran “Guard Mom” whose daughter was Captain this year, is graduating from high school next month and last week performed her in final Winterguard competition. Oh.. you don’t know what Winterguard is? Well, Winterguard season is December through April and the guards perform a show entirely different from the fall and perform it inside a gym. It is quite a competition!

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So here are some of the things I learned over the last four years..

Colorguard is a SPORT.

Guard rehearsals are like practices for sports. Full sweat, smelly feet, sore muscles and long hours.IMG_2186 2

(Color/Winter) Guard is a synonym for FAMILY.

Over the last four years we have come to know the guard director, staff and students very well. These teenagers and their families have become our family.  The director has been a mentor and another mom for Maddie. Being part of the guard family is an honor.

Guard teaches the importance of the
individual WITHIN the team.

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One of the coolest parts of the color/winter guard team is that each individual and their work is incredibly important to the combined efforts of the team.  Hand positions, foot work, throwing (and catching) hard tosses, and the ability to keep up and on the beat are deal breakers for the overall look and ranking of the guard. Because of this, the team learns how to work together and use the unique skills and abilities of each member while working to get better and stronger each week.

 

Guard teaches young women that beauty and strength are two parts of the same whole!

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One of the greatest gifts that guard gives to teenage girls is the understanding that beauty and strength are two parts of the same whole. Being a member of the guard means that you have grace and dignity as well as strength and fire. These lessons learned during teen years are life changing and help girls mature and become strong and beautiful women.

I am so thankful that Maddie was a “guardie” and that I had the privilege of being a “Guard Mom!”

(Thanks to Amanda Akins and Derek Dodson for the incredible pictures!)

 

Fostering Creative Thinking

Children are innately creative. I know this. I see this everyday.  Yet I regularly hear adults say that their children aren’t creative. I try to be nice. I’ve learned to just keep my mouth shut and not call out these parents, but oh it is difficult! Children NEED to be creative. It is who they are! From invisible friends, bringing soldiers and dolls to life, and even simply playing house, being creative is a necessary part of a child’s growth and development.

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Why do parent’s say that their children aren’t creative? Well, over the years I’ve decided that it is a control issue. Creativity is often messy.  Creativity requires a suspension of disbelief. Creativity embraces differences and pushes boundaries. All of these are areas that make adults uncomfortable. Believe me. I know! Even in my world where creativity is a prized treasure, it is still messy and at times drives me crazy.

But it is worth it.

So what do you do if you can’t fathom the thought of glitter in your carpet, paint on the back porch,  a million legos underfoot or blanket forts in the living room?IMG_5539IMG_7590

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, start simply.

There are some great games that you can play. While Kylie is the one pictured here, all of my girls are willing and happy to play the games in the pictures together! And that is a win in and of itself! Our family plays games. We play card games, board games and dominoes. We put puzzles together and build lego creations. If the idea of Playdoh crumbs smushed into the kitchen table and chairs gives you the willies.. start with games like Otrio, Trax or Mental Blox.

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(FYI.. this is NOT a paid advertisement.. these are my real life recommendations!)

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Fostering creative thinking is a soapbox issue for me. Why? Because I’m amazed at how many adults DON’T KNOW HOW TO PROBLEM SOLVE! And we as a society are not teaching nor are we modeling to our children how to problem solve, how to come up with new or different solutions to problems or even how to think for ourselves!

While I am a huge advocate for technology and I want equal access to information and all that technology brings, I am worried about the immediate reaction to just “google it” when something doesn’t work.

Resiliency is more than being able to survive when the internet is down!

We have to model and teach children that when there isn’t a clear answer, sometimes we have to simulate the what-ifs and work through options. We have to not only allow FAILURE, but embrace it and show our children how to move through failure to success!

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So there you have it. I challenge you to go be creative today. And no, you don’t have to go paint a picture or create a sculpture to be creative. Go play a game, create a fairy garden in the flower bed, build a treehouse.. do something that doesn’t already have a set finish point and that requires your brain and your body to work together in a new way!

And finally, enjoy the journey