Month: January 2020

Sustained Discipline

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Made to Crave

I’m listening to the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. The book is fantastic. The narration is TERRIBLE. Take it from me and the audible reviews, DO NOT buy the audible version. Just read the thing.

(I’m not sure how to even describe listening to this book. It’s not like a “kindergarten teacher is reading this book” as one reviewer stated.. I have friends that teach kinder and I’m not going to insult them like that!! But it is grating, condescending and all things bad. Just buy the actual book or get the digital copy.)

Ok, rant over. Get the book.

Why? Because the content is relevant to just about all of us. Now if you are making strong healthy choices everyday and have overcome all your issues, you can skip this book. But the rest of us need her down to earth, right smack in the middle of problems take on life.

I’m writing this post with 16 minutes of the book left. I’m that compelled to put my thoughts on “paper.” Lysa just talked about the concept of Sustained Discipline and this was a true light bulb moment for me.

So I wanted to share and document my thoughts.

Over the last few years I have gained back a lot of the weight that I lost in 2012. Some of the weight is in the form of muscle, but most of it is fat and poor choices. At first it was just a pound here and five pounds there. But the sum total is that instead of having “just a few” pounds to lose, I now need to lose about 25 pounds to get back to my goal weight. I don’t really expect to get back to that place and to be honest, I don’t really need to be that lean. That’s not my body shape. My body is naturally curvy and to get that lean requires a diligence and a fight that isn’t good for me. I do need to lose some body fat. I want my clothes to fit right. I’m tired of the waistband of my pants rolling down when I bend over. I’m tired of having to readjust my bra all of the time because of spillage! I’m tired of struggling into clothes that “should” fit.

But I’m not going to obsess over the scale. For one thing, my scale is inconsistent. One day it will say about what I think it should say. The next day it’s eight pounds heavier. Then the day after that, it says that I lost ten pounds. My emotions around my weight are roller coaster enough, I don’t need the scale to add to that!

What I am going to do is focus on SUSTAINED DISCIPLINE. This is an area that I am great and terrible at! Over the years I have learned that I am a rock star at being disciplined when it comes to working out. I was disciplined as a child/teen with practicing piano and preparing for rehearsals or contests. You could always count on me to log the hours and do the work. In fact, I won the trophy for logging practice minutes for piano every year for YEARS! And yes, that was a real trophy…

But I’m terrible at sustained discipline when it comes to food and personal growth habits. I’ve always said I’m a great starter, not a great finisher as if that was license to give up. I’d eat great for 3 days, but day 4 would be a bust. I’d do three weeks of a bible study and then just stop. I’d get out of the routine before a routine stuck and then move on.

So instead of focusing on the goal, the end result, the pants that I want to wear without it cutting off my love handles, I’m going to focus on areas that need my sustained discipline. While I have lots of growth areas, I’m going to focus on only two for the next three months.

  1. Drink my fruit/vegetable smoothie for breakfast and have a salad for lunch 5 days a week.
  2. Spend a minimum of ten minutes 5 days a week doing a bible study.

By giving myself two days of grace each week, I am hoping that instead of being down on myself for “slipping up,” I can motivate myself saying that’s one of the off days.

And will I lose weight simply by doing these two things? Not necessarily, but its a fantastic start!

James Clear in his book Atomic Habits talks about stacking habits by adding one new small habit to a habit that is already routine. Since I already have the workout habit down, I’m going to look at the morning schedule and see how to change the structure of my morning a little.

Each Day a Gift

If I can add even a five minute devotional time prior to workout, then that would be a smart place to start. Granted, my eyes struggle to focus at 4:40am on anything other than Emoji Blitz, but I’m hoping to start reading and working through Each Day A Gift before heading to the gym.

I’m a work in progress, we all are. I think it is so important for us to acknowledge that about ourselves. One thing I am really proud of is that I’ve started making the bed every morning. I know its a little thing that doesn’t seem to have any real significance, but it does! It makes me feel like the day is in order and that I can accomplish things.

And finally, I’m reading Beauty Begins by Chris Shook and Megan Shook Alpha. Making peace with my reflection is hard. It has always been hard and I don’t anticipate that changing anytime soon. But I am doing my best to not pass on the burden of unattainable and unhealthy body image issues to my daughters. I want them to be healthy and at their physical best, whatever that is and however that looks.

Beauty Begins

I want that for myself.

Revisiting the 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family

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It’s been a few years since I read The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family and with moving and unpacking, I found our rally board and realized that it desperately needed to be updated!

Our Rally Board from 2016

It was great to see that we accomplished the big idea that we set out to do in 2016 and for most part, we are still holding true to our Standard Objectives. Our Defining Objectives were accomplished for the most part with the completion of our rallying cry, so they were no longer relevant.

And with that big “to do list” checked off, I was pumped to get us updated and ready for the new year.

We decided that in 2020 we would focus on emotional and physical health. With me still recovering from hip surgery, a surgery on the horizon for one child and half a dozen new specialists for our other daughters, we needed to prioritize healing and wholeness.

I know, it seems weird that we would have to put this in writing given that all we have done over the last almost twenty years is do doctor visits, but this is different. When you live in the midst of doctors and sickness and struggles, these become normal and you just function within these very difficult parameters.

But this last year was TOUGH. Emotionally, physically, and financially. The doctor visits, physical therapy appointments, specialists, more specialists and countless hours in waiting rooms took their toll. In fact, I just looked it up, Aetna managed 115 different medical claims for our family. Add the Rheumatologist that doesn’t do insurance, the chiropractors, dentists, orthodontist, eye doctor, health screenings, tests and random health issues and we are at over 200 calendar entries for a family of 5.

Did you read that?
115 separate claims to manage plus all the other medical expenses not covered.

And we would call this a pretty healthy year. DANG.

So anyway, we talked about what we wanted our rallying cry for 2020 to be for our family and it had to be emotional and physical health. Instead of just surviving in the midst of this hard stuff, we need to be able to tackle it head on.

And we are .

Our “mission statement” is the same as when we created it years ago. We are a family that invests in each other and the community. We believe in learning, leading and living creativity everyday. We live in a small community but value our global connections. I love reading this and being reminded that we are still inherently the same family with the same mission, even in the midst of change.

But in order to focus on emotional and physical health as a family, we have to change our defining objectives. We have to be proactive in our approach to our days and our nights. We have to be willing to make some hard choices. Our defining objectives.. or the things that need to happen so that our rallying cry can be carried out are:

  • Regular Bedtimes
  • Healthy Meals
  • Outside Activities
  • Creativity
  • Limited Technology

These objectives are doable when we remember our goal. Yes, there are times when it seems like it would be way easier to just let Kylie, at ten years old, watch YouTube Kids for hours. But the tradeoff just isn’t worth it! She is at her best when she is outside and being creative. Technology is not her friend. The reality is that technology isn’t good for any of us.

And what are standard objectives? These are the regular ongoing responsibilities that you have in addition to your goal. Our standard objectives have stayed the same over the years for the most part, but we realized that we needed to add family adventures as an ongoing responsibility, not just something to do when it is convenient. It’s never convenient, but our family needs this fun time together!

So our standard objectives are:

  • Budget
  • Education
  • Faith
  • Fitness
  • Love
  • Family Adventures
  • Doug and Emily Time
  • Kindness

These are the guideposts that I measure all of the requests and opportunities against. I have to remind myself all the time, if the request/opportunity/commitment isn’t in line with our standard or defining objectives, then it isn’t in line with our family’s goal. And for this season, I need to say no.

And so I’m saying no, and having to go back and revisit some of my recent responses of Yes. It’s not easy, but my family’s emotional and physical health is more important.

With that, I’m telling you all.. if you haven’t read The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family, you need to. There is no kickback for me to suggest it to you. It’s just that good of a book.