Category: watercolor painting

Resting, Reflecting, and Restoring

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I’m in a new season, one I have never been in before. It’s strange, and fun, and weird, and freeing. I didn’t make 2023 goals. I don’t have a list of things I have to complete. I don’t have a burning passion to accomplish anything. I am in such a different and new place that I’d be concerned that I’m depressed. But I’m not. I’m reflecting and learning. I’m leaning into a season of peace.

Why? Well, the easy answer is that I have my Ph.D. Why not? My body, soul, and spirit needed rest. But I have accomplished a lot of other big things in my life and I have never felt like this before. I really think, this is the first time I have ever allowed myself to stop and consider what is coming in the next season. I’m not rushing head long into it. I’m not looking for an escape from this one. I’m just acknowledging that fact that this is a time to enjoy where I am.

But this doesn’t come naturally to me. I have an amazing coach/counselor who helps me process life, work, and goals. We came up with a list of activities for me to focus on over the next few months while I embrace this season of reflection. Well, really, in my head, it is a season of restoration of my creativity while also storing up my energy for the next season, whatever that season will be.

So what are the activities?

  • Painting
  • Spending time with family and friends
  • Watching Kylie play sports
  • Enjoying the last few months of Lexi’s senior year
  • Doing fun things
  • Running without a pace goal
  • Going on walks with my friends
  • Eating yummy food without feeling guilty
  • Scrapbooking
  • Quilting
  • Putting together puzzles
  • And maybe even writing something nontechnical

And how am I doing so far? Well, I hand painted around 30 Christmas cards. I painted quite a few new little paintings for friends for gifts. I run with my friends three or four days a week and my mileage is way behind theirs. (And it only bothers me every other day when I think about it. But it doesn’t bother me enough to start training with a goal in mind, so there is that.) And I got to cheer on Kylie while her volleyball team won a championship at a tournament this week.

So I think pretty good! Here are a few of my recent paintings. Clearly I like painting flowers.

Pink flower with black background
2 identical paintings one with orange tulips and one with pink tulips
orange blossom flowers with blue background

Finding My Peace

Published on by EmilyMaxwellMcLemoreLeave a comment

For years I thought that in order to share my passion for life, art and creative things I had to make everything “Good Enough”.. in other words.. Perfect. I knew that perfection wasn’t attainable, but I struggled to make things as perfect as possible. My head would not allow my heart’s creative efforts to flourish because I couldn’t move beyond the mindset that my work wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t talented enough. I just wasn’t…. enough.

Pink Peony Flower

But I realized that the only way my children, and my students for that matter, would learn to share their work, their passions, and enjoy creative pursuits would be to see me sharing my life and my creative effort as well.

So finally at age 45, I came to an understanding that while my personality type drives perfection and reward, I do not have to be defined by that. More, I determined to no longer live in that trap. I decided that I would rather have peace than perfection.

That’s why I started sharing my paintings last year. Do I think they are perfect, nope. Do I see every flaw, every mistake, every missed opportunity. YES. But I am choosing to move beyond the never ending quest for perfection and am instead enjoying the process.

Purple Flower

It’s hard. Every. Single. Time. There is something so incredibly personal about putting artwork out for public consumption. It’s weird. I’ve given speeches and preached sermons, presented at conferences and workshops, and have published articles about art and teaching, but none of those things feel as personal and defining as my music compositions, my playwriting, and my artwork.

And that is why the creative process is magical. When we go through the creative process, we leave something of ourselves in the work. In doing so, we have to come to a point where we say that just as we are, we are good enough. And that is hard. But when we come to that point, it is oh, so freeing.

  • pink boots with green plant
  • grandfather, father, and a son
  • peach peony

And that is why I share my work. It’s my coming to terms with the fact that my work will never “be good enough.” After almost 25 years in education, and a lifetime in the arts, I have a firm grasp on the fact that I am not a natural talent. But I have so much drive and desire and a willingness to learn! And maybe that is the real lesson in the art.

I don’t have to be perfect, or a natural talent. In the grand scheme of life, most of us aren’t that slim percentage of natural talent. I just have to want to create, be willing to learn and more than that, be willing to fail as I find my wings. I know it’s trite. But you know, that’s kind of where I am these days. Letting go of the pursuit of perfection has allowed me to find my wings, my voice, and most importantly, my peace.